Regret

Why there's always a mistake only makes awake?
If there's no mistake, awakening sense do not occur.
A big mistakes pays a lot. Some even pays everything include your own.

Can it consider a mistake?
No it's not. It's consider as a stupidness of myself.

Know it's wrong but you go for it.
Know it's a hole there but u still want to jump down.
Know if continue walk one step more, I will be bang my car, but i still walk.

Why?
Coz I'm stupid.
End up? Worst than sleeping in a hospital.
Since stay in hospital only one ppl suffer but now two.

I'm stupid? Yes.
But I've lost by doing this mistake, but no matter how I would wish to back to normal.

I've regret. Sorry.

1 year and 3 months

Today the third day of our 1 Year and 3 months anniversary.

Basically feeling goes back downwards, sometimes to argue because of some small problem.

But sometimes do feel quite happy too. Weird feeling.

Sometimes do think about try to break up? But How?

We nearly stay together d. Seem like one week 6 days are sleeping together.

Sometimes her house, sometimes my house.

If i break up ? How's all my clothing there?

We're joining both of money together.

If break up, how do the money settle?

She's part of owning the few breeding dog.

If break up, how do them goes to?

That why everything goes difficulty.

That makes me never goes towards decision.

Stay Normal.. Stay Continue..

Getting Satisfy

Time passes , relationship doesn't go downwards but upwards. That's the miracle.
Everyones would say that Relationship will be boringness once long...
But there's different. I started to appreciate her, love her for more than I did.

It's make me couldn't lose her... I need her to by my side forever. No matter how, she's still my forever.

Time do not bring ppl further away but nearer.

Thanks GoD for giving me her.

7 Months

Today it's already 7months anniversary with her.. Sometimes I feel, does her suit me? Everytimes I walk with her when they're peoples around.. I would try to think?
Did they laughing at me or should I get a better or a prettier want?
She's not ugly, she's quite pretty.. But I couldnt satisfy it..
I'm keep thinking could it able to get a better one if I leave her?
But I don't wish to lose her.. She already became my part of my life..
Everyday we meet each other from the start till now.. If I lose her? How would i feel?
"cut out part of my body to throw"? I don think I will feel nice if i did that..
I'm still really very love her.. But i keep wan for better want.. I cant stop my greedyness...
This is my longest relationship.. I'm trying to make it last.. Last till the end..
But my greedyness keep forcing me to leave.. to betray.. to go...
I could'nt feel anything now if I lose her..
Probably will totally gone of my life.. Regret? Sad?
Or Maybe getting better like relieved myself?

Everytimes I'm thinking if she betray me first, then I got the chances to leave.. to give reason..
But I don't think she will.. She's too love me and I'm too...
But my friend around me always said that when I'm gonna break?
I dont feel like doing it but really cant stop my satisfaction need..

Therefore on End of December, she's going to the National Services for 3months..
I'm trying to think for finding a New wan on that duration..
Is I'm Bad? I agree too!! I cannt really stop it to think bout it!!
Or Maybe can able make feel how if she's not around me...
Isn't that i need her that mucchhhhh.......

Some chinese idioms said "Needle didn't cuts you on your skin , then you wouldnt feel the pain".
It's means that if dint breeaaakk then I wouldn't feel the painfulness, sadness..
I dont wan to feel that.. But I keep wan a New Wan!!!

What a Life!!
It's so stressful!
But I'm trying not to do that..

Satisfaction

Why do human couldn't satisfy what they have it now?
Why do ppl cant fullfill theirself till the end?
Why do everyone are greedy?
Why do God make us like that?

Why I am one that like the others?
Why cant I fullfill myself?

Did God purposely making us suffer?
Or God just want us for experience and fight for the better?

No ones know..
But God knows...

I would fight for myself...
For making my fullfillness last......